Category Archives: Charter for the Sexual and Reproductive Rigths of Youth

Canada, Church, Charters and Choice

I’m back in the city, which means I’m back in the country.

I just returned to NYC from Alberta and British Columbia where I spent six days meeting cousins on one branch of my partner’s family tree, seeing beautiful countryside. We put over a thousand miles (1707 km) on our rental car, saw the oil industry service sector outside of Edmonton, the ranch land west of Calgary, the mountains separating Alberta and British Columbia, the lush greenness of British Columbia’s Shuswap Lake region, and even got a peek at some of the disappearing glacier behind Lake Louise. And of course, as all my travels do, this one generated some sex-related insights.

One of the most unexpected was this: Conservative Christians sometimes sing very passionate songs in church! We went to a Christian Reformed Church service with my partner’s uncle and aunt (the CRC being nearly as close to Dutch Calvinism as one can get in an organized church in the US or Canada). The CRC congregation that my partner’s mom belongs to doesn’t sing much that doesn’t come straight out of the Psalter Hymnal in the back of the pew in front of you. But the CRC congregation in Red Deer sings Christian Rock type songs that include verses like this one from Beautiful One by Jeremy Camp:

You opened my eyes to your wonders anew
You captured my heart with this love
Because nothing on Earth is as beautiful as you
You opened my eyes to your wonders anew
You captured my heart with this love
Because nothing on Earth is as beautiful as you are.

(chorus) Beautiful one I love you
Beautiful one I adore
Beautiful one my soul must sing.
Beautiful one I love you
Beautiful one I adore
Beautiful one my soul must sing.

All the singing was led by the youth chorus (one young man on the piano and five young women: three singing, one on the keyboard and one playing flute). The singing was passionate. The young people in the front of the church had exactly the look that the singers of love songs have in their music videos: full of longing and desire and adoration. And it wasn’t just the young people. At times I could hear passion in the voices coming from the pews around me.

I wondered about the wisdom of inflaming desire through music, a very powerful medium. On the one hand, the collective singing of music binds people together in really powerful ways. On the other hand, there was no denying the undercurrent of sexuality running through these songs. Another song focused on the act of giving one’s heart, and ended with the word “come” repeated insistently as the music faded:

Come, now is the time to worship
Come, now is the time to give your heart
Come, just as you are to worship
Come, just as you are before your God
Come

(Come, Now is the Time To Worship, by Brian Doerksen.)

Meanwhile at roughly the same time as this passionate singing other young folks were out distributing sex ed materials, answering questions and promoting sexual civil rights for young people in Canada. From Canada.com:

Throughout July and August, the Know Your Rights street team — made up of young people — travelled across Canada stopping at county fairs, music festivals and a regatta.

Not only did they answer questions youth might have about sexual health or contraceptives, but they also gave out an estimated 6,000 condoms, held condom rolling contests and demonstrations and collected more than 500 signatures for a petition.

These young folks wrapped up their tour this past Sunday as I was listening to the passionate voices of CRCers in love with their God. The petition the Know your Rights team is supporting is directed at the House of Commons, pressing them to adopt the Charter for Sexual and Reproductive Rights for Youth, which is being drafted with direct input from young people across Canada.

These young activists are proudly and vocally pro-choice, and they have a pretty nuanced take on that label, too. They believe, and the Charter expresses, that ” choice encompasses all ideologies, even if that means choosing abstinence or being anti-abortion.” The charter is really very clear and very simple. It lists the “fundamental rights” that youth must have in order to “have and maintain their sexual health.” Among those rights are the right to accurate information about sex (something that some religious organizations interfere with), the right to decide when and if to have sex or bear children (something that many laws interfere with), and the right to confidentiality and care without seeking permission from parents or guardians.

This put me in mind of our discussion a while back about Michelle Vitt and whether she had been raised in a way that allowed for choice or not. It made me wonder how to reconcile the choices of parents with the rights of children and teens. It made me think back to the singing I’d witnessed Sunday morning, and the way that it very likely helped to redirect the passions felt by the young singers away from boys or girls or sex and toward the church and ideas of holiness. Another song, Refiner’s Fire, by Brian Doerksen, sung with the same kind of fervent passion, included this chorus:

Refiner’s fire, my heart’s one desire
Is to be holy,
Set apart for You Lord.
I choose to be holy,
Set apart for You my Master
Ready to do Your will

How likely is it that one of those singers would feel free to choose other than “holiness” as defined by the congregation gathered there that day? Certainly some rebel and are rejected, while others rebel and are ultimately accepted at home even if not in the Church, and certainly the passions ignited or fanned by these songs can set a person on a very thin double edge: bonding them closely to their community on the one hand, and then on the other hand enflaming emotions that can easily be sexual and unruly and difficult to contain.

This strange confluence of events, my sitting in church listening to passionate love songs as young people toured the country promoting sexual rights for youth, really focused my thoughts on the tensions between our various rights and freedoms. Sexual freedoms, religious freedoms, parents’ rights and rights for youth, these are territories that overlap. If you map the boundaries of one so that they lie just where you think they should, you have probably taken over some part of one of the others.

I come down on the side of sexual rights and accurate information for youth over parents’ rights to limit their kids access to information or to limit their informed decision-making. But would I go so far as to say that a parent did not have the right to raise her child in the faith that she chose? I can’t bring myself to say so. But, I would be more than willing to insist that regardless of faith all kids must be exposed to scientifically accurate information about sex and health and given access to nonjudgmental and independent sources of advice about sexual behavior.

That exceedingly sharp double edged passion that is ignited by religious fervor can slip, even in the hands of the faithful, and those youth need the information necessary to protect themselves when it does.

(Note: This post is also published at SexInThePublicSquare.Org)

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